|The Former Life of Stan|
|Series||South Park Unleashed|
|Pairing(s)||Stendy (one-sided) Kybe (one-sided)|
|Written||August 8, 2011|
|No. of Chapters||7|
|Completed||October 22, 2011|
|Link||The Former Life of Stan|
The Former Life of Stan is a fanfiction written and published on FanFiction.Net by JVM, originally from August 8, 2011 to October 22, 2001. This fanfic is a follow-up to the real Season 15 episode, "You're Getting Old".
The fanfic focuses on Stan Marsh trying to deal with the changes to his life since his parents' divorce and diagnosis with cynicism, Randy Marsh dealing with his mid-life crisis by behaving like a child, and Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman's budding friendship admist a hot new online gaming trend.
It is non-canon to the South Park Unleashed series though it was originally published as part of it.
Stan wants to be a kid again. The "new" big four join an online game craze while Randy's mid-life crisis hits. Stan joins his father in hopes of recapturing his childhood. Follow-up to "You're Getting Old".
The story opens in the classroom on Friendship Day, with several people going up, including Cartman and Kyle, who reveal their new friendship, much to Kenny's jealousy, and Stan, who whines about his lack of friends. Stan is sent to see Principal Victoria, who gives him a warning. Stan mouths off and declares he's going back "where he used to belong"; back at class, Mr. Garrison is having trouble dealing with his own loss of a friendship, and leaves Bebe Stevens in charge of the classroom. Stan, meanwhile, is at the bus stop, when he is confronted by the ghost of Chef, who discusses change with him, and Stan decides to try to accept things are different and goes to the bar to find his father.
School lets out and Cartman, Kyle and Kenny decided to find someone new to fill Stan's shoes and approach Butters Stotch, but are in fact seeking out Clyde Donovan. At the bar, Stan begs his father to take him to the zoo, but his father is too drunk to drive, and he rejects his uncle's offer, Stuart McCormick, trying to control his alcohol, offers to take them there. At the library computer lab, meanwhile, Cartman and Kenny discover an online game, but Kyle chooses not to join, and soon Craig Tucker and his friends are in on it as well - but they stop Clyde to ask if he'd like to join their group and he bursts into tears.
At the zoo, Stan observes the elephant exhibit, where Randy tries to comfort him and tells him he still wants to be a part of his son's life, and Stan shares his diagnosis of cynicism with him, while Stuart obsesses over red pandas and refuses to leave. At the library, Stan and Randy look for book on cynicism and try to take them out at the library before he has to be returned to his mother. At Sharon's new house in the luxury division of town, Sharon Marsh greets Randy and Stan kindly, and both parents decide to talk about their love lives, which are both poor. Sharon worries about them being too old to date when she mentions Randy having a gray hair, setting him off into a panic.
The other children, meanwhile, leave the library computer lab when their new online game is ruined by Professor Chaos and General Disarray, who have been paying Bebe to kill others' characters. Cartman, Kenny and Clyde decide to play at Kyle's House despite his insistence not to play the game. Wendy shows up to talk to Kyle about Stan, worried about the future of their relationship, but he scolds her that she's only nine and shouldn't worry about it, and proceeds to hear a moaning sound from his toliet. Cartman then tries to copy off Clyde on a Math exam, which Clyde refuses, and triggers an inexplicably angry outburst from Mr. Garrison and is escorted to the Principal's Office, where he is dismissed and Cartman is warned not to step out of line.
The next morning the guys are talking at the bus stop when the other cliques pass by on their way to their own - Craig's Gang shows up with Jason, much to Clyde's dismay at being replaced, and Kenny flirts with the girls, accidentally triggering an argument between Bebe and Heidi while Wendy tries to talk to the guys about Stan. Increasingly annoyed with her obsessive behavior, Kyle tells her to leave Stan alone. At lunch, Cartman suggests a party based around the same game, but is dismayed Kyle can't make it, offering to help him create a character desptie his busy schedule. Stan, however, is at a counseling session for people with cynicism, including his grandfather, Craig, Timmy, Butters' mother, one of the Goth Kids, and several others. The therapist quickly connects the things that appear shittiest are often loved ones. Mr. Garrison soon shows up, insisting he needs help for his best friend - Mr. Hat.
After class, taught by Bebe in Garrison's absence, Cartman talks to Clyde, Kenny and Kyle about the online party - while he is fine with Kyle not being able to make it, he becomes angry that Kenny might not be able to. Increasingly jealous of Cartman' new friendship with Kyle, Kenny vents about his lack of a best friend but Tweek Tweak answers his call and is happy to befriend him. Stan, meanwhile, leaves therapy and has a brief discussion with the Goth Kids, whom he accuses of being conformists, and then Wendy, whom he breaks up with due to their age. She carefully explains that he may feel old, but he's still young and leaves. The county's various counselers, lead by Mr. Mackey an Dr. Steven Marshall, discuss the epidemic of 'cynicism' and resolve to find the patient zero who began it.
Stan tries to search through his video games for something sacred but continues to find each game 'shitty'. Sharon stops to offer to talk to him but disappears as soon as her current boyfriend, Mitch from the Police Station, shows up, to which an angry Stan lists off her many recent boyfriends. She arranges a date with Mitch and scolds Stan shortly before Randy shows up, dropping off Shelly and asking to talk to Stan, where he suggests he needs Stan's youth, explaining that since he turned forty two years earlier, he's felt old and his shenanigans have just been part of trying to be young. Randy and Stan end up going to an awkward childish movie, but Stan can't take it and leaves when he runs into Kyle again for a moment.
After leaving Cartman's online game, Kenny visits Tweek Bros. Coffee, flirting with Tweek's mother before trying to socialize with Tweek, initially failing and resorting to playing the game with him, but they join a crowded game world and knock out the power, causing the movie to short out at the theater. After an argument with Scott Tenorman at the snack counter, Randy is given a free coupon for another movie and takes Stan through a montage, visiting Super Phun Thyme, playing video games, watching Dora the Explorer, playing soccer, eating at McDonald's, racing Go-Karts, going to a hip-hop concert, visiting Lolly's Candy Shop, and finally playing with lightsabers at the mall. While Randy loses out to Kevin Stoley, he assaults Bill and Fosse for calling him 'gay'. A tired Stan runs into Butters, who mentions the game's crash and how lonely Kyle is.
Kenny and Tweek visit Cartman's House to discuss the changes to the game's dashboard and decide to play an Xbox game instead, where Kyle joins via TeamSpeak. Cartman becomes highly annoyed with Kenny and Tweek's over-caffienated behavior and they lose the game, and Kyle admits he's beginning to become interested in the now stale online game. At Jimbo and Ned's Shack, Stan's grandfather Marvin is being interrogated by the South Park Psychiatric Society who are seeking to end the epidemic and believe him to be the patient zero, when Randy suggests they should talk to Stan about it, who he just dropped off at Kyle's. After a confrontation where Kyle suggests he and Stan should end their friendship, Mr. Hankey appears and suggests the ultimate cure to cynicism is to eat actual shit, suggesting life only brightens after things reach their "shittiest". The cure discovered, the news is spread to the psychiatrists.
At the Psychiatric Center, the entire group is given 'smelly' chocolate bars and the disease is cured entirely for the whole group before the cure is actually revealed. Randy offers Stan a reward for cracking the case and takes him to visit the old Marsh home, where Stan happily figures everything can go back to normal, only to discover the house has already been sold, and he begins to contemplate Chef's words. As the family drives home, Shelly and Stan reflect on the disease and their family life, while Randy and Sharon talk about having a picnic and not letting their problems get in the way of their children and former family. At Stark's Pond, the Marsh family has the picnic while Cartman, Kyle, Clyde, Kenny and Tweek show up and they welcome Stan back to the group as order is restored.
In the final scene, Trey Parker and Matt Stone kick John out of their office, decrying his 'fan input' and deciding to do a story about "Ass Burgers" instead.