|Fiona Morag McTeagle|
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Fiona McTeagle is an original character created by Wensleydale Cheddar. She appears in various "South Park Aargh" episodes as a tertiary character. She is a nine-year-old girl from Scotland and a 4th grade student at South Park Elementary and attends Mr. Garrison's class along with the boys. Throughout the series, she has made herself a reputation of being the local thief.
AppearanceFiona has got an average fourth grader body build. She's got ginger hair,
which is always seen tied into two pigtails with gray hairbands. The colour of her hair is, of course, a source of ridicule from Cartman. It also follows the stereotype of her Scottish nationality. Her usual clothing consists of a green coat with a gray collar, gray trousers and red mittens. In "Fiona", she appeared with dark blue trousers instead of gray ones.
Personality and Traits
Fiona is usually a calm, open-minded, optimistic, but introverted girl. Though not very bright or good at school subjects (except for math, which she excels at due to her interest in money), she became street-smart during her childhood in Iverness. Her main talent, displayed many times in the series, is stealth and theft.
One of Fiona's primary traits is her greed, which is a recurring theme in many South Park Aargh episodes. While not exactly that imaginative to invent a Cartmanesque get-rich-quick scheme, she won’t pass an opportunity to make some money. Her life ambition is collecting enough money to buy five apartments which she will be able to rent so that she won’t have to work in her entire life. For this goal, she has dedicated her life to stealing. She is a self-proclaimed kleptomaniac, even though most townspeople know her stealing habits have nothing to do with the disease. She can often be found in her classmates' homes at night, doing what she sometimes calls "the redistribution of wealth".
Fiona is extremely bad at lying. When caught red-handed, she will usually come up with some pathetic, unbelievable excuse, like in "Bloody Kleptomania", when she was searching Token's locker for loot, she told Kyle she had been dusting.
Fiona's second signature characteristic is her fear of becoming a Mary Sue. Even though usually calm, she will usually burst into anger when the word “Mary Sue” is uttered in her presence. She becomes especially frustrated when some of the common Mary Sue traits come true in her case, like being a new student and hanging out with the main characters. This quirk is another reason for Cartman to make fun of her. It has been implied that other children, including Wendy Testaburger and DogPoo Petuski, also think of her that way.
She sometimes forgets that she has been in South Park for a short time and will be confused if she hears one of the boys’ former adventures and wonder why she doesn't remember it, usually annoying Kyle in the process. This also falls under the Mary Sue category, as many characters like that like to imagine themselves as being long-time friends of the boys (this is true at least for the Mary Sue clique in-universe).
Fiona is a slow thinker. When facing a problem, she doesn't understand it at first and reacts with general confusion. Then, when she finally grasps the situation, if her life is in danger, she panics, but when it doesn’t concern her, she either nitpicks or is concerned with something not related to the problem. Kyle Broflovski is usually the person she turns to with a problem.
Fiona's greedy nature has its good side - she is very sensitive with her money. She hates it when someone wastes even a couple of bucks and she can't understand, for example, how Kenny's parents can afford all the alcohol but still cannot manage to make ends meet. At times, usually when facing someone living in extreme poverty, she can be very generous, but still tries to make sure the money she gives them will not go to waste.
Not much is known about Fiona's past apart from the fact that she is from Scotland, has lived in Iverness almost her whole life until moving to South Park at the age of 9. She was originally supposed to attend the other fourth grade class, but she was moved to Mr. Garrison's following a number of thefts.
- Walter Darling:
Walter's relationship with his Scottish daughter hasn't been very well specified yet. Fiona's father doesn't seem to feel as strongly about Scotsmen as he does about Americans, but it doesn't appear to affect their relationship in any way. Walter, sometimes consumed with neighbourly competition, tends to sometimes forget that he even has a daughter, although Fiona seems not to mind it, as it gives her more opportunities for her stealing escapades.
- Main Article: "Kyle Broflovski"
Kyle was the first of the boys who defended Fiona from Cartman’s insults. At first, in “Fiona”, he was convinced she was innocent of stealing the other fourth grade’s and Mr Mackey’s things and he only realised his mistake when Fiona herself admitted she was guilty. After the incident, he didn’t want to admit it in front of Cartman that he had been wrong, so he sort of let her into the boys’ extended group, hanging out with her instead of Cartman, who was planning his own scheme in “The Other Fourth Grade” and even inviting her to Stan’s house in the next season’s episode, “Bloody Kleptomania”. This has diminished in the later episodes as she realised that if she continues to hang out with the main four, she will be called a Sue.
Fiona seems to be indebted to Kyle for standing up for her during her first days of South Park Elementary. Due to the fact that she doesn’t make friends easily, she keeps clinging on to him and the other boys (to a lesser extent). He, on the other hand, is frequently annoyed with Fiona’s stealing habits, nitpicking, hypocrisy and other peculiarities. She sometimes seems to actually enjoy irritating him, but will usually stop when told off by Kyle. A running gag shows Kyle leading Fiona into the boys’ bathroom and making a moral speech about what she should not do (which will usually shock one of the characters present there) and then Fiona shouting after him as he walks away in annoyance.
- Main Article: "Stan Marsh"
Stan, unlike Kyle, was sceptical of the Scottish girl from the start. His attitude to her at the beginning was neutral, but somewhat irritated that Fiona acted “as if she had known him for a long time”. The only positive interaction of those two in “Fiona” was delivering the episode’s “I-learned-something-today” speech at the end. In “The Other Fourth Grade” and “Bloody Kleptomania”, he seems to have no problem with her hanging around with the group, though he is obviously annoyed with her stealing his things.
Stan seems to be Fiona’s favourite stealing target, much to his dismay. In “People Spouting Howdy Neighbour” the two are revealed to be neighbours.
- Main Article: "Kenny McCormick"
Kenny was the only one of the boys who was enthusiastic about Fiona joining the group in the first installment of "South Park Aargh" (before promptly leaving the group at the end of the same episode) because he believed she would soon grow breasts. As a result, he's one of the few boys who don't snap at her, but instead he often throws sexual remarks at her. Fiona usually reacts with disgust or confusion (nowadays mostly with the latter).
Fiona has got a certain softer (platonic) side for Kenny, as they both come from working-class backgrounds. She even admits to Kyle in "Bloody Kleptomania" that if she achieves her life ambition, she will give some of her money to none other than Kenny.
- Main Article: "Eric Cartman"
When Fiona joined the class in the pilot, Eric was the first one to treat her like crap. He propmtly started turning the public opinion against her and along with Mr. Mackey he sued her for stealing the other children's property. When this happened, Kyle started defending her, so ironically because of Cartman, Fiona tries to hang out with the main four.
Eric discriminates against Fiona for four main reasons. Firstly, because she is a girl, secondly, because of her Scottish nationality, thirdly, because of her red hair and lastly, because, in his opinion, she is a Mary Sue. She uses many literary female stereotypes against her, which has become a recurring theme in the series. Fiona usually reacts passively to Cartman's insults, with the exception of the word "Sue". However, she is almost always defensive in her frustration and doesn't lash out back at him like Kyle, especially in the new episodes.
Ironically, Cartman and Fiona are quite similar in their greed and even though Fiona's moral standards are considerably higher, she will sometimes back the obese boy in his plans, much to Kyle's annoyance.
- Main Article: "Butters Stotch"
Even though at first Butters was afraid that Fiona was a "dangerous Sue" because of Cartman's propaganda, he eventually somewhat warms up to her and treats her fairly friendly. Fiona treats him the same due to their similar, naive personalities.
- Main Article: Pip Pirrup
Although Pip and Fiona are the only two Brits at South Park Elementary, she loathes him with a passion just for being "a bleedin' Sassenach".
- Main Article: Mr. Mackey
Mr. Mackey's relationship with Fiona is clearly antagonistic in the pilot episode, the reason being the Scottish girl stealing his councilor trophy. While this has never been picked up later so far, it is confirmed that Fiona is certainly not Mackey's favourite student.
Quotations and Catchphrases
- "Why dae ye keep walkin' away when Aa'm talkin' tae ya?!"
- "It is nae stealin', it is th' redistribution o' wealth!"
- "Oh, aye."
- "Aa'm nae a Sue!"
- Her surname was based on a Monty Python sketch “Ewan McTeagle.” Her first names are just two typical Scottish female names.
- Fiona's favourite colour is gray. Her favourite kind of music is the clinking of coins and the rustling of banknotes. Her favourite kind of food is haggis and her favourite drink is whisky.
- She is the only known fourth grader apart from post-season-15 Stan to regularly drink alcohol. It doesn't seem to affect her at all, though.
- Fiona's greatest fears are becoming a Sue and going bankrupt.